Friday, January 23, 2009

A Truth From Keith

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

So true, for men and women...

Friday, January 16, 2009

Blue Ruin

I'm just a f*#%ed up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind.
Clementine (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

I am "nice." I am Clementine and Joel. I am afraid and passive like him, and crazy and impulsive at times like her. I'm looking for peace of mind. I don't know that I'll ever find it.

Blessed are the forgetful; for they get the better even of their blunders.
Friedrich Nietzsche

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
(from Eloisa to Abelard)
Alexander Pope

Sometimes I want to forget. It would be easier that way.

or bends with the remover...

"Psychologists, psychiatrists, sociologists, anthropologists and educators have suggested in countless studies and numerous research papers that love is a "learned response, a learned emotion."...Most of us continue to behave as though love is not learned but lies dormant in each human being and simply awaits some mystical age of awareness to emerge in full bloom. Many wait for this age forever. We seem to refuse to face the obvious fact that most of us spend our lives trying to find love, trying to live in it and dying without ever truly discovering it."
-Leo Buscaglia

Everyone wants the chick flick. Even guys. Maybe guys want less drama, but they still want to fall in love that fast and live happily ever after without working at anything. Maybe I'm weird because I have never dated anyone I've had a crush on, and vice versa, but I don't want it to be that easy. Without the work, it's not worth it.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New Year's Resolutions

Putting them down makes them more real, and I am more accountable for them, and if they are in a place where others can see them, then I am even more accountable for them, right?

1. Work on spiritual things
a. reading scriptures
b. attending the temple
2. Don't do too much for others or give too much of myself, and learn to let others do nice things for me.
3. Get in shape. This does not mean lose weight or get amazing washboard abs (not that those things are bad). I'd just like to be a little more in shape. Also, eat more healthy foods, and eat out less.
4. Spend less money, and pay off more debt. (Directly related, the less I spend, the more I can pay off)
5. Learn something new about myself.

Friday, January 2, 2009

When is Enough Too Much?

Do I give too much of myself?
I am what you would call a giving person. I express affection through giving and doing things for people. I like to do things for people, to show them that I care. In the words of a wise woman, "It's one of your love languages." But this can get me into trouble in a few ways.
First, it can lead to people taking advantage of me. People assume that because I am a nice person who will always do nice things that they can ask me to do anything and I will say yes. Sadly, this is often true. Even worse, while I am doing the "nice" thing that I don't want to do, I resent the person who asked me for the favor. I get upset and frustrated and stressed out and don't like the person that I become. I guess I just don't like to be asked to do nice things. I like to be able to see needs and fulfill them without being asked.
Second, I take care of people too much. I sometimes forget that people need to take care of themselves. And I never let anyone have a chance to take care of me. I need to learn to do that.

This last part is a common problem with women I think. We are raised to be nurturers. We are taught to take care of everyone and put the needs of others above our own, to sacrifice for our children and the men in our lives. Then we whine and complain about how we don't know what we are doing to drive men away. Well, we're taking too much care of them. That's what drives them away. Women, no let me rephrase that, I need to remember that they're big boys and they don't want me to pay for things, to do everything for them all the time.
The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?