Monday, August 17, 2009

Tag, you're it! (And I'm Bored!)

What is your current obsession? Improving myself. Or wanting to drive so badly it's ridiculous. It's kind of sad when you're twenty six and you feel like a rebel driving your car from the underground parking to a different parking spot, but it feels soooo good!

What do you hate the most that everybody else seems to love? Twilight. Ugh. I just threw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it.

If you could have any other name besides your own, what would it be? When I was younger I wanted to be Rose, but now I really like my name. Except when people don't hear me properly and think my name is men.

What's for dinner? I made chili and cornbread. It was good.

What would you eat for your last meal? Haribo. And indian food. Mmmmm...

What's the last thing you bought? Panda Express

What are you listening to right now? The sounds from the freeway, the hum of my computer, and the gentle tap of my fingers on the keyboard, punctuated by the space bar. I love the sound the space bar makes.

What do you think of the person that tagged you? Lindy didn't tag me, I followed in a line of I'm bored, so I'm stealing this from yous, but she's cool.

If you could have a house, fully paid for, and totally furnished anywhere in the world, where would it be? Cardiff, Wales. Hands down. Close enough to London to go play, but cheaper, and it has a beach.

What is one of your hobbies? People watching. But not in a creepy way.

What are your favorite smells? Leather covered books, good boy smell, rain, the ocean.

What is your favorite color? Yes. It depends on a lot of things.

What is your favorite piece of clothing in your wardrobe? Oh gosh...I just thought of a really good answer, but I can't really say it, so I would have to go with whatever makes me look skinny and attractive at the time. Which is a very vain thing to say.

What is your dream job? Librarian, in some sort of big university type of library where I get to handle all sorts of cool stuff. Like running special collections at BYU, except I probably don't want to stay in Provo.

Describe your personal style. Not quite trendy, or classy, or boho, but somewhere in the middle.

What are you going to do after this? Go to sleep.

What inspires you? Beauty. And goodness. Which are the same thing, right?

Who was the last person you kissed? My nephew.

What are you currently reading? Nothing, surprisingly. It's weird.

Why do you participate in these question answering blog/facebook chain letter question answering notes/posts? Because I think it's an interesting way to learn about people, it's a cultural experience, and I get bored. Even though it is kind of a passive way to learn things about people, now that I think about it.

By what criteria do you judge a person? Expression, I think. Although I actually hate the word judge. HATE it. It's a four letter word in my dictionary.

What is something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done yet? Have one of my photographs on display somewhere besides my living room. Like a gallery.

I tag: Whoever wants to do it. I don't feel like typing anyone's name. If you read this, consider yourself tagged.

The rules:
1. Answer the questions on your blog.
2. Replace one question you dislike with a question of your invention.
3. Tag eight other people

Monday, August 10, 2009

My Talk, the way it was Supposed to Go Before the Printer Broke and I had to Fake It

We demonstrate our love by how well we serve our God. Remember when the Prophet Joseph Smith went to John E. Page and said to him, “Brother Page, you have been called on a mission to Canada.”

Brother Page, struggling for an excuse, said, “Brother Joseph, I can’t go to Canada. I don’t have a coat to wear.”

The Prophet took off his own coat, handed it to John Page, and said, “Wear this, and the Lord will bless you.” 

My grandparents volunteer with the homeless in downtown Milwaukee a lot.  Each year in the winter, they spend a lot of time trying to find coats for the people, because otherwise they literally freeze to death.  One man had no coat, and they had no more donated coats left, so my grandfather went home, went through his closet, and found a nice suede coat, and gave it to him.  A few weeks later, he ran into the man, and he didn't have the coat.  My grandpa asked where it was, and the gentleman said "Someone else needed it more than me."

That is true service.  Seeing a need, and filling it, even when the service you give may be the widow's mite.   

In Mormon Doctrine it says, "Service is synonymous with keeping the commandments of God; it is the child of love."  We keep the commandments because we love God, and serve others because we love God, and because we love God, we love and serve them.

  1.   29 If thou alovest me thou shalt bserve me and ckeep all my commandments.
  2.   27 Pure areligion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To bvisit the cfatherless and dwidows in their eafflictionand to keep himself funspotted from gthe hworld.

Why do we serve?

  • Sometimes as part of the repentance process as compensatory restitution when restitution in real terms is not possible.  
  • We serve because it is a covenant obligation of all members of the church.  It is a vital part of our religion.
  • We serve others to overcome feelings in inadequacy and become our best selves
When we serve, we forget ourselves, and spend our energy thinking about others.  We stretch ourselves as we go outside of our comfort zone, and as we forget our own challenges, and bring help and happiness to others, this brings us joy.

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985) taught this concept most powerfully: “The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls. We become more significant individuals. … Indeed, it is easier to ‘find’ ourselves because there is so much more of us to find!”7

  • We serve to be instruments in the Lord's hands for good.  We may not know why we feel prompted to do some little act of service, but it could make a world of difference, or it could just make someone's day. My family recently went out to dinner, and an older woman with a cane came in to get some food.  She got her food to go, and was heading out the door.  My brother jumped up from his seat, ran across the restaurant, and held the door open for her.  As she continued to her car and got it started and pulled out, she was smiling and happy.  Maybe she had been having a great day already, but maybe that one thing made the difference for her.
  1.   5 ¶ aTrust in the Lord with all thine bheart; and lean not unto thine cown dunderstanding.
      6 In all thy ways aacknowledge him, and he shall bdirect thy cpaths.
  • One of the most powerful ways we can serve people is to listen to them.  Henry B Eyring said in the the April 2004 Conference, "When I was a young man, I served as counselor to a wise district president in the Church. He tried to teach me. One of the things I remember wondering about was this advice he gave: “When you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.”
It is part of human nature to want to connect to people.  We want to feel that someone cares enough to listen to us.  Be that person who cares enough to listen.  
  1.   7 For as he athinketh in his bheart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.
  • We serve because that is who we want to be. We want to be like Christ.  Christ served, and the best way to understand someone is to do what they do, to share their experiences.  When we serve, as Christ did, and do what we can to share his experiences, we will grow to understand him better.  As Henry B. Eyring said in the April 2004 Conference, 
"In the Master’s service, you will come to know and love Him. You will, if you persevere in prayer and faithful service, begin to sense that the Holy Ghost has become a companion. Many of us have for a period given such service and felt that companionship. If you think back on that time, you will remember that there were changes in you. The temptation to do evil seemed to lessen. The desire to do good increased. Those who knew you best and loved you may have said, “You have become more kind, more patient. You don’t seem to be the same person.”

You weren’t the same person because the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real. And the promise is real that we can become new, changed, and better. And we can become stronger for the tests of life. We then go in the strength of the Lord, a strength developed in His service. He goes with us. And in time we become His tested and strengthened disciples.

You will then notice a change in your prayers. They will become more fervent and more frequent. The words you speak will have a different meaning to you. By commandment we always pray to the Father in the name of Jesus Christ. But you will feel a greater confidence as you pray to the Father, knowing that you go to Him as a trusted and proven disciple of Jesus Christ. The Father will grant you greater peace and strength in this life and with it a happy anticipation of hearing the words, when the test of life is over, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Monday, August 3, 2009


I came to a realization last week. I have epilepsy. (okay, I didn't realize that part last week) But I have two options: I can fight against it, or I can live with it. I realized if I fight against it, I'm just kicking a brick wall. I'm just increasing my likelihood of having a big seizure and inconveniencing myself and everyone else around me. If I live with it, I can survive.
When I was diagnosed last year, I didn't realize how much it affected my life. I just knew that I would have to worry about things when I got pregnant, like whether or not to take my medicine and risk birth defects, or not take my medicine and risk seizures. But that's ages away. But there's the fact that I am now protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I am "handicapped." Will it affect me if I ever date anyone seriously and we're considering marriage? Because I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to deal with my health problems. But then again, I'm amazing, and it's not genetic, and if they're that shallow...
I have seizures all the time. Not just big ones (tonic-clonic), little ones all the time, and more often when I'm tired. My neurologist asked me if raising my medication made the little seizures stop, and I told him yes. It's not true. When I'm tired, I still have myoclonic seizures (where I twitch), sometimes they wake me up in the middle of the night, sometimes when I'm just sitting around, whatever. I'm not going to tell him the medicine isn't working. I don't want to take more medicine. It works most of the time.
Then there is the absense seizure. This is when I just kind of zone out, body or mind, for ten or fifteen seconds. I've done this pretty much my whole life, but it happens more often now than it used to, and once again, more often when I am tired. These are great because I just look like a space case. It's not that I am completely unaware of what's going on. Sometimes I feel like I am having deja vu, or I feel really really weird, like tunnel vision in my body, or really heavy, or just really really weird. Sometimes they last for a few minutes even. In fact, I feel like I am having a tiny one right now. Not enough to keep me from typing, but the back right part of my brain feels funny, and my arms feel heavy, and I feel sort of tingly, but not quite to the point of pins and needles. And my forehead feels like something is very lightly pressed against it. And my upper chest feels heavy, right on my clavicles. I don't want to move. This is really weird, typing about this.
Okay, better now.
I have to adjust my life. I can't just go hang out until four in the morning every weekend. If I did, no matter how much I might want to, for my health, it's impossible. Unless I want to have another seizure. Going to see Harry Potter at midnight was a big deal for me, I had to get the morning off of work and spend more than a week recovering. While my friends are out late most nights and definitely every weekend, I can't do it. I can do it maybe once a semester, with advance planning, including planning for naps before and recovery after, which have to be worked around my 8-5 work schedule.
I have to be responsible and take my medicine or the state will take away my license. However much I wish I could just go back to the way things were before, when they were easier, and try to ignore them like I did last year, and the beginning of this year, I can't do that anymore. It's like trying to deal with diabetes by just not eating candy. It's not that simple.