Okay, so this is about two months overdue, and I should be going to bed like an hour ago, but I really want to write on my blog right now.
A while back we were talking about this in Relief Society. I don't even remember who was giving the lesson, but she was talking about how she had never had any huge miracles or big life altering experiences that gave her a testimony, just little things in her life from time to time that affirmed to her that the gospel was true and that built her testimony. And I am the same way. I think many of us are, since we grew up in the church.
Later I was talking with my mom and she mentioned the fact that in the Book of Mormon the fact that the people are constantly falling away so quickly, and she wondered why. She had been talking with a friend, and they had decided that it was because they were always converted by a miracle. They were converted by the big thing. Only when the people's testimonies were built on the little day to day things were they able to stay strong. Isn't that ironic? We always think that we want the huge Saul or Alma the Younger type of experience, but statistically, the fact that they stayed strong was the real miracle, not the experience that got them to repent and gave them their initial seeds of testimony.
I would rather have a testimony like Asparagus than Radishes.
Stay with me for a minute. I swear it will make sense. Radishes are the fastest growing vegetable out there. You stick the seeds in the ground and *poof* you have radishes. But then what do you do with them? You uproot them! Asparagus, on the other end of the spectrum, can't be harvested until at least three years, and reaches its prime at six to eight years. But once it does, it can grow as much as a centimeter an hour. And that is why I would rather have an asparagus testimony. It takes longer to grow, but it doesn't get uprooted, and once it grows, it's there for good.
That's another thing. We think of a testimony as this static thing that is bestowed upon as like some sort of gift because we read our scriptures, or went to church, because we earned it. A testimony is not a thing, but a process. It is a a solemn attestation as to the truth of a matter http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-646-15,00.html . I know that the church is true, and so does President Monson. But we do not know the same things. I can guarantee that his knowledge far outweighs mine. But hopefully both of our testimonies keep growing.
It's like the parable of the talents. One of them is given ten talents and another five and another one, and the first two double what they have but the third doesn't. That always used to bug me, because I thought that it should be the other way around, because it should have been the one with only one talent doubling his and the one with many not and getting punished. But I realized that it would be easier and less scary for him to go out and make something of himself. Who has it "easier?" Those with more talents. The Lord isn't asking us to all come out with the same at the end, though. He's just asking us to do something with what he gave us. He isn't even necessarily asking us to double what he gave us. Just do something. He can and will make up the difference if we let Him. So now I understand why it had to be the servant with one talent who had to not make anything of what he was given. Because it wasn't about what he had at the end. It was about making something of what he was given. Even when it was hard and scary.