Last week I had a seizure. Yippee. Most of you who are reading this already knew that. I remember talking to Brian, and then waking up on the couch really really tired. Now I can't drive for three months, and I have to do all sorts of tests again, and you know what? It's frustrating.
It's frustrating to have to go to the neurologist and have them bump up your medicine and do more tests that cost more money and deprive you of sleep to tell you nothing new. It sucks to have your parents tell you that you should really think about getting a medical ID bracelet, which costs like 75 dollars, when you have to pay for aforementioned stupid tests. And having the bracelet is almost like admitting defeat. It's not that I can't admit that I have epilepsy, but having the bracelet is like saying that I'm letting it run my life.
What sucks the most is being 26 years old, having a car and not being able to drive it. I am an independent person. I like being able to go where I want, when I want, and my wings have been clipped to the quick. No running off to the store because I feel like buying a new pair of shoes, or going to Wendy's because I'm hungry. I can't even go grocery shopping whenever I want. I really shouldn't complain, I have wonderful friends and family who are more than willing to take me the places I need to go, but I still can't expect them to drop their lives to do what I want. Plus, the freedom of going by myself is gone.
Maybe the Lord is doing this because I didn't learn my lesson last year. I didn't learn to be interdependent enough. I have to learn to let others take care of me sometimes...I'm not very good at that. I'm much better at taking care of everyone else, even when they don't want to be taken care of. I hate asking for things. This is going to be a long three months. Any advice?
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Now playing: Alan Menken - Seize The Day
via FoxyTunes
2 comments:
I know how you feel. Remember last year when my car died and I had to beg for rides everywhere? It wasn't fun. But I did learn from that. I had to realize that I CAN depend on people and that it's okay to need help once in a while. I dunno if that helps... but those are the thoughts I had. Loves!
Maren! I had no idea about your seizure. :( I'm glad that you weren't hurt. Isn't it great how the Lord tests us so that we can be the person that he wants us to be? I know that I live 3000 miles away, but if you need anything, please let me know. I miss you!
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